How to trust people you don’t like

Discussion Guide

1. Building trust comes from taking risks together—being vulnerable in situations that are sometimes stressful. What types of activities would help you get there with your team?

2. What are your own emotional triggers, and what are your teammates’ triggers? Have you ever discussed them? Can you imagine having a conversation about emotional triggers that helps people understand each other better and avoid pushing each other’s buttons?

3. Thinking about the differences between shallow fun and deep fun, what have been your favorite moments of deep fun, and what made them possible? How can you create more of them?

4. Consider your least preferred coworker—the person you had the hardest time working with. Was that because of challenges with competence or character? What did you learn about which matters more to you when building trust?

5. How can you find uncommon commonalities with your colleagues?

6. What’s your origin story—the defining moment that drew you to this line of work? Have you ever shared your origin story with your team?

7. In hiring, how can you shift from cultural fit to cultural contribution? What’s missing from your organization’s culture—and how can you identify people who will enrich it?

8. Vulnerability can build trust, but it can also make it easier for people to take advantage of you. How do you know when it’s safe to be vulnerable?

9. Trust is hard to build but easy to break. What have you learned about repairing trust?

10. The overview effect captures how astronauts often gain a stronger sense of values and a deeper sense of purpose by looking at earth from outer space. Short of going into orbit, are there places you’ve gone or experiences you’ve had that create this kind of overview effect in your work life?